From the Philly pool debacle to the Gates arrest to Soledad’s *inspiring* documentary, I’m tired of being Black in America. Can I just be? Well, the media seem to think not…
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I really do wish that someone would write a relationship book targeted towards men. Here are a few topics it should cover:
* How to Know When You Are Out of Your League (and Yes, there is such a thing)
* How to Follow the Old School Rules of Courting: You Court a Wife, You *fill in the blank* a ______
* How to Turn a ___ Into a Housewife: You Can’t, So Here’s How to Find a Quality Mate
* Who Pays for What and When
* Pick-up Lines You Should NEVER Use
* The Proper Role of Technology in a Millennial Relationship
* What to Do on A First Date and How to Land a Second and Third and Fourth
* How to Trust Your Girl: Becoming Trustworthy
* Sex-Who, What, When, Where, Why, How, and So What?
I’m sure there are others.
Now, I would say that the potential audience for this book would be the same as the intended audience for Harvey’s book: those without a whole lot of the sense that’s common or the wit of a mom or mother figure from which to learn. Any man who was “raised right” (pretend we agree on what that means) will not need so much instruction…we hope.
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Shifting Gears
I listened to my sister and her friend talk about some of their issues. My sis’s friend wondered something I have wondered once upon a time. She wonders why on earth God brought a man into her life who is her ideal but with whom she is not in a relationship. I have no answers for that one other than to suggest that maybe the point is to learn that because the ideal exists in one body it can exist in another, so settling should not ever, ever be an option.
After all, who prefers store brand ice cream after having Ben & Jerry’s, Haagen Daaz, or Maggie Moo Moos? 
Boy, do I miss ice cream sometimes! *sigh*
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Why aren’t there more vegan, as opposed to vegetarian, options in mainstream restaurants? And why is the South almost single-handedly anti-vegan? You’d think I’d be losing weight, but what the South lacks in vegan entrees it has hand over fist in desserts…to my waistline’s detriment.
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Soledad is now going to do Latino in America. Why? Just why?
in answer to the question of why God brought someone into her life who is her ideal but they’re not together, i say this:
even though he may be a great catch, is it always God who “brings” people? sometimes he allows people to cross our thresholds, but He’s not necessarily putting that person IN our lives for some purpose. i told my sister the same thing recently after dealing with some relationship drama: WE make choices about the people we let into our lives. in my hermana’s case, God didn’t necessarily send him to her - she MET him and CHOSE to begin a relationship with him (then all of hell’s bells broke loose). every nice guy or gal we meet isn’t supposed to be our mate, no matter how ideal. i guess that’s a hard lesson to learn.
of course that doesn’t sound like the case with your fam, as the situations are undoubtedly different, but just something to chew on. how can we always be sure that just because we met someone that God did the active sending? more rhetorical than anything because i certainly can’t answer that so i don’t necessarily expect any concretes.
Man, this is so true and often so hard to come to grips with. I guess the best rule of thumb is the reason, season, lifetime mantra. Sometimes it’s just difficult to figure out which one applies.
Comment by DflyS — July 24, 2009 @ 1:31 p
Ohh gosh u read my mind, i got soo annoyed with Harvey’s book, because i felt what the heck… why does it always rest on us to bend backward to accommodate men? why don’t they learn how to deal with PMS, shopping, etc… why do we have to get books on how to decipher their behavior, etc… I am sick of that. They need to learn how we think and how to deal with all that.
I hate that bloody stupid book
Ditto and AMEN!
Comment by Shazza — July 31, 2009 @ 1:31 p