Days of My Life

The title is my feeble attempt at patois.

I just looked at a pic of an associate who is moderately young and it got me to thinking. Why do some balding men opt for the half hair look instead of just cutting it off? I mean, seriously. What do they think they’re accomplishing my holding on to shadow fuzz? I’ve always wondered that. My dad kept his hair around the sides cut low and not all bald for years. He just didn’t care about keeping it all cut off. A younger dude, however, I would think would want to present a different image.

The guy in the pic is in this really serene pose trying to present a sophisticated, artistic image of himself as this ultra suave guy. LOL But the whole time I’m thinking, why don’t you just shave off the rest of your hair? There is nothing about that 5″ back hairline that matches the image you want to present. Oh well. Can’t win ‘em all. *shrug*

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I don’t believe in expending energy on people who pay no positive attention to me. That works usually, but today I’m torn. I have to be fair. I put more effort into the relationships that matter to me than I used to put. I have a long record of not doing that, so is it fair for me to now expect others to do the same when I just decided to do it myself? Or should I be just as patient with them as they’ve been with me? A part of me wants to say, “You didn’t return my call? Well, see when you get another one.” Another part of me knows that I am notorious for not returning calls and being flaky when I let too much of life pile up on my plate. I guess it’s hard to know which people are busy and which just don’t care. For my folks though, the former is usually the case and I just need to be patient.

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I want to take a mini-vacation, and I’m going to do it too. I guess one could consider my weekly trips a part of a larger vacation, but I want one that allows me to leave the country, even just to the Caribbean. Inexpensive. That’s my goal. Soooo I’ve been watching the net for trips, and wouldn’t you know it? The cheapest trips are to……………..MEXICO!! I guess those H1N1 swine flu fears are affecting tourism. Go figure. Well, for that same reason, Mexico is off of my list–for now.

Dilemma: Well, not really. But here goes. I’ve tried to think of a travel buddy. My usual suspects is occupied right now, and her funds are low. All of my other friends with whom I’d travel are married with small children. Compatibility is extremely important in a travel buddy. Extremely. I asked one of my cool guy friends before summer began. He said yes. I could never decide what I wanted to do, and now that I have, I haven’t heard back from him. Although my indecision can be quite a large pill, I’m going to thump that homie of mine. He may be seeing someone right now. Who knows? And I’ve been too something to give him a call.

This is really a not-dilemma because accompanied or solo I’m still going to go—-somewhere outside the US. I brought my passport with me for a reason. I just know that some destinations really require a travel companion. Oh well. Caution has been thrown to the wind.

Another guy has invited me on a cruise to the Bahamas, Turks and Caicos, and somewhere else in the Fall. That’s a very generous offer, but he’s made his intentions clear that he’d like to “court me.” Now, I’m not interested in that and have made that clear. If he could accept that and still take me along, well, then we might have a deal! Although he might say okay to that, really, what are that chances that he’d be telling the truth? Exactly.

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I think I’ve emptied out all my randomness for the day. Oh! Not quite.

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My family is way cool. I’m finding that the older I get the more dependable they are than the friends in whom I’ve invested most of my time. I love those guys. My family, I mean. I’m blessed.

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I used to care what people thought of me, whether they “got me” or not. Now, I do.NOT.care who doesn’t understand me or why. I just don’t. Either you understand or you don’t. Either you love or like me or you don’t. It’s just that easy. And I keep right on moving.

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I realize that at some point when I wasn’t looking I stopped thinking about, worrying about, praying about–a relationship with a man or any other relationships for that matter, and I commenced to living my life. I feel so liberated, so free. I have to truly say that I am content. I don’t want anyone’s life I see around me—not a single one. All I can live in is now and there’s no point wasting time in what may or may not be. I don’t know what tomorrow holds and I have to be okay with that. I don’t even know if tomorrow holds me in it, but I do know that I have today because I’m kicking and breathing in it. And I’ll be doggone (what does this mean? *smile*) if I’m going to let it get by me without me creating a big bang!!!

Now, THAT is all! I’m off to see what wonders will greet me today!