Days of My Life

I had a marathon chatting session with a dear friend in the wee hours of this morning. We laughed, I faux cried. It was GREAT!!!

We’ve known each other for less than a year through a common acquaintance whom we both love. Although we don’t have a lot of histo

WAIT!! A BIRD JUST FLEW INTO MY WINDOW! I FEEL BAD FOR HIM.

As I was saying, although we don’t have a lot of history, some people are just kindred spirits–I love that term from Anne of Green Gables. He and his wife are two sweet people. I almost forgot my point.

I very rarely have linear conversations because I’m not a linear thinker. I know that my communication style can annoy some people because it seems like I’m all over the place, shifting quickly from one topic to another, talking all over people. Guilty as charged. My mind just moves so fast sometimes it’s all I can do to keep up with my own self. I can’t get my words to come fast enough for my processing. Some people can’t keep up with that, and only a kindred spirit can also do that. This dude is like that. He and his folks have nooo problem keeping up. I LOVE it!! I know how to slow it down because I know how annoying I am, but I love it when I have the freedom just to be myself, and a part of that is talking like the roadrunner when I’m intellectually stimulated. The flip side is that I treat my words like gems and only use them around people I 1) like, 2) know, and 3) am extremely comfortable around. Otherwise, I’m silent and just smile (or not).

My whole point is that when you have people in your life who don’t stress you it is a blessing. I am one tough cookie to befriend, but I’m worth it. I’m polite, civil, and friendly to many, but not everyone do I call friend. I can only be friends with people who embrace the truth because that is one thing that I dish and appreciate in return.

Anyway, I’ve been contemplating major life changes. My friend, Mr. Conscious Giggler (CG), assured me that God has a plan, and I’m right in it. I know he’s right. I feel it. I was going to say (as I now say it) that not having road signs along the way makes knowing over feeling very difficult, but CG is a road sign of confirmation. If I equate seeing with knowing, then I’m really just talking about a lack of faith because faith is just a feeling of knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt without ever seeing. I like that. You’d better quote me if you use it, too. I ain’t playin’ with you.

The road sign above is how my life often feels, but the real signs are much simpler and far clearer, like “STOP,” “YIELD,” “CAUTION,” and “MERGE.” If I always went by how I felt, I wouldn’t be here. Thank God for the feeling that is knowing beyond a shadow of the doubt that overtakes the feeling that is rooted and grounded only in doubt. Thank God for relationship (with Him that is).

I know I have rambled my way all the way to my point, but this is the place where I can do that. My “serious” writing occupies another space, and this is just my place to vent and put things into perspective for myself. If my perspective blesses you, Praise God!! If not, you’ve got the right to move on. Ain’t no chains holding you here, but at the end of the day, if I can help somebody as I travel along, then my living shall not be in vain.

The End of the most random post ever, second only to the random musings of Mama Dragon and Fly with Soul.

I honest to goodness do not care what people think of me, and that is sooo liberating. Praise God for not living in the fickle courtroom of public opinion.

I’m really feeling that right now and just wanted to share. Seriously. I.do.not.care!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I even tell my mother exactly what I’m thinking and let the chips fall where they may. What a fabulous feeling to live unapologetically in the space marked “truth.”

I must be glowing or something because I’m hearing with more frequency how pretty I am. Well, sunshine has something to do with that after weeks in a gray zone, but what the heck has pretty ever done for anyone?!! A lot, I know…

Okay, I won’t pretend like there are no advantages to being attractive, BUT I’m hearing the pretty commentary while I am looking for a job. In some instances, pretty can work against you if you’re being interviewed by an insecure person. My neighbor said I should have no trouble finding a new gig. Why? Because I’m pretty. Thanks, neighbor. If only it were that simple, but maybe it is. I downplay the pretty in interviews and go for full out conservative. If people are still seeing pretty, what is the point of downplaying it? Maybe playing it up will in fact land me my dream job.

This may all seem very shallow, but I’m for real. I don’t want to underutilize pretty and 20 years from now wish I hadn’t. I never thought much in life was based on looks having been taught that what mattered most is what is in my head (which my mom chose to tell me today is not true, she now chooses to add that one’s appearance counts for a lot–thanks Mom). I have an excellently brilliant head on my shoulders. I can think my way out of a maze blindfolded, but when folks get stuck on the pretty, they never get to what’s in my head. They just make the shallow assumptions that are connected to outer beauty. All of this is rather amusing as I was never brought up to believe that I looked like anything special. I was always taught that I was beautiful because of my inside, so I had very good self-esteem although I was also drawn to mirrors and still am.

This is all very perplexing to me at times. I like the anonymity of the internet in my job searches, and if people like what they see when they meet me, then that’s a plus–shouldn’t be a requirement unless my image is what’s pimpin.

I’m talking in circles and have no definitive conclusion here. The bottom line is that I want to make a career move. IF that move requires me to capitalize on my looks, so be it. If it requires me to rely on my brain, I’ve got that covered too. When the spirit moves, I’ll move–just like that.

UPDATE:

The good news is that my friend is not stalking me (right now). I’m awaiting the fallout once his brother-in-law tells him I’m in town.

The Spidey news is that I was awakened about 6am by three police cars outside the house. They blocked off the street–in my previously quiet childhood neighborhood!!! What is going on?!

A neighbor came over this morning and said a boy was chased behind his house by police one day recently. A stripped car was also abandoned here and towed by police. It was good that I called because that mysterious car with the mysterious driver was probably a part of some criminal activity, hence the early morning stakeout. Hooray for me!! Momma tells me not to start trouble she will have to live with, but I’d rather she live with the safety of criminals not setting up shop outside her door.

Methinks something may be hidden in the woods behind my house, but I will not go snooping out there. I’m not all the way the blonde curious chick from the movies.

Happy Day Folks!!

Almost forgot. In other news, I went by my dad’s old building on Sunday. Too much, too soon. I’ll try again this summer when I go to clean it out. I have business at the cemetery, but I may conduct it by mail although I really should view the head stone for myself. We’ll see. I am continually overwhelmed by life and my own foolishness. When I return North, I will begin intense counseling. Sometimes, the world feels too much for me, but I keep waking up, evidence that I’m still here, so I just live on.

One more thing: I’m hanging out with my cousin and her newborn who will be two weeks tomorrow. We’re having a blast. I’ve started an amazing quilt for her and hope to post pics soon. Au revoir!!

I’m really a detective. I bet yall didn’t know that. Mmm..hmm, I sure am, or at least that’s what my conspiracy theory mind tells me.

I hear some things go bump in the night around 5:51am EST. I get up, look around, get back in the bed. A little after 8am, my mom, on her way to work, alerts me to a strange car parked outside her house.

I, having recently been involved with someone who has obsessive stalker-like qualities, become immediately concerned. I take her mere curiosity to a whole nother level. So, what do I do? I call the police. That’s right–your friendly, neighborhood po-po, who for some reason delayed their coming because of a discrepancy over which jurisdiction my house is in. *sigh* Glad I wasn’t getting chopped upside the neck.

Anyhoo, Officer Friendly comes, looks, and leaves without a word. My Spidey Senses aren’t satisfied with that, so I get dressed and go out to take a look myself. You know, just like the girl in the movies who is always stereotypically white and blond. Yep, I imitate that one, only to find that the seats are laid back like dudes were sitting in the front. A small pair of jeans are on the back seat. There is not front tag, and the back tag is temporary, expiring on April 14.

I’ve figured it out!! My street is well off the beaten path, and some person is hiding a car out on my street. Yep, Detective A has solved one again. Now, if only I could run the VIN number and determine to whom it was sold, I could get this criminal contraband from in front of my door.

Why couldn’t the officer have done that? Well, maybe he did, but he didn’t ring my door and run it by me.

At least I’m not being stalked. Obsessive dude doesn’t even know I’m in town to my knowledge, but if I make the news for cracking this case, everyone will know. Say cheese!!! I’ll smile pretty for the camera!

P.S. I was a little paranoid that dude was stalking me. I have no idea how he’ll react if he finds out I’m in town, but parking outside my door is really his steeze.