Today marks the second installment of Do Me Season. Saturday was shopping. Today is pampering day. This weekend is chillin’ with friends weekend. Next Monday is workout day. Next Tuesday is another pampering day. Next weekend will very likely be hangin’ with the parents time. I look forward to these things as the aggregate collection of small things will really brighten my life. If you don’t celebrate you, no one else will.
So, why am I already experiencing guilt about Jamaica? I was to move there two years ago but didn’t when my dad first got sick. This time it’s just a brief vacation, and my dad being rushed to the hospital this past weekend has made me have second thoughts. I won’t take my cell phone to Jamaica, so what if something happens while I’m away? What if this is Dad’s last Thanksgiving and I’m away? I’ll miss that memory with him.
On the other hand, we did big family dinner last year because we weren’t sure if he’d be alive this year. That was a good call as being in the rehab center won’t allow him to make it to a big dinner this year. Also, as much as I want to be there for his every breath, I know that my parents need and deserve this time. They love having me there but both want me to do my own thing. Before they were my parents, mom was dad’s woman and he was her man. As was the case this past weekend, she interprets for him when he cannot speak. He still tries to make arrangements for her from his sick bed because he knows what she needs. They may need this Thanksgiving to be like ones from the past before there was “me”–just the two of them.
Mom likes to sound like she’s handling it, but I hear the worry in her voice every time he has to make an ambulance trip. I’ve heard her move from denial to a step just beyond it whenever the prognosis gets grim. I know she cannot imagine life without her man even as she is gradually adjusting to just that. He hasn’t been in our home since July. Behind her confidence is a little fear, a fear that I completely understand. Well, maybe just a little bit. I have no man with whom I’ve shared the majority of my life except him, my dad.
Whatever the case, they’ve been married almost fifty years, if not more. There is a strong part of me that feels that they deserve this time together in the winter of their years.
I love my Pa. This song says it all. The homemade video is just an extra touch! (This daddy adores his baby.)
Chrisette Michele- Your Joy
aww mi mariquita. i can literally feel the myriad of emotions you’re experiencing now. the joy and anticipation of a much needed and much-deserved tropical getaway, the guilt of being absent from your family in order to do it, the worry and empathy you feel for your Mommy, the concern and ache you feel for your Daddy. it all must be so overwhelming.
i wish i could tell you an easy answer but of course there is no easy one (not that you asked for one anyway). you just have to do what you really feel in your heart. i think the Lord will take care of things perfectly, even if you’re away in Jamaica. and your parents know you love them so so much!! my heart and prayers are with you and your family. i cannot imagine how your Mommy must be feeling in all of this - to face the prospect of your best friend and love of your life leaving you must be one of the hardest things in the world.
and who is this precious little baby girl in the video??? is this someone you know or just a vid you found? she is TOO CUTE! 2:05 (the warrior stance) KILLED me LOL.
and um…just so you know…my mind TOTALLY went in another direction when i read this title. i was like errr…”Do Me Season” ??? daaang A, it’s like THAT?? LOL then of course i read on and understood. tee hee.
You are a TRIP!!! LOL!! Yeah, I can see how do me can be deceiving, especially after yesterday’s topic.
The video is totally random, but I thought it was too cute. I love the song and this father’s tribute to his daughter is just precious. The words describe how I feel about my dad.
Comment by dragonflysoul — September 23, 2008 @ 1:31 p
:( My heart goes out to you and the fam. That’s a deep one there: “Before they were my parents, mom was dad’s woman and he was her man.” It’s so easy to forget that. But stay in prayer for your Pa and keep your chin up.
Chin effectively up. I’m smiling as I type! See! >
Seriously, thanks.
Comment by Corduroy Johnson — September 23, 2008 @ 1:31 p
LOL cuz for real sistah, i was like WORD??!! i mean, i know times get hard but…lol
that little cutie pie in the vid was too much. and yes, an awesome tribute. i wish my dad felt that way about me…
i’m glad Cord got your chin up and smiling!
keep ‘em coming (the smiles i mean).
Just for you!!
:0)
Comment by dragonflysoul — September 23, 2008 @ 1:31 p
I really thought that little girl was you. And I was thinking that your dad’s a real young dude. My prayers are with you.
Not I, but cute nonetheless. Thank you for your prayers. I have peace. Everything is about to work itself out.
Comment by profunksticated — September 25, 2008 @ 1:31 p
Gosh I pray your pa sees another thanksgiving, and another one and another one… the love resonates in your words and the song does it A…it warmed me, and bought a tear to my eye
Thanks Shazza. Good to see you back.
Comment by Shazza — September 27, 2008 @ 1:31 p