I am going to withhold my opinion for a bit and throw this out there.
Growing up, I attended a church where almost everything in life was against the rules. “Relations” was always number one on the list–premarital that is. No problem. I can read that one clearly for myself as long as I have a dictionary for the word fornication—(my pre-teen thought).
Somewhere along the way I also heard the view that sex was only for pro-creation, even for married people. *raised eyebrow* Not really buying that. Later on, after leaving that church, I heard something that resurfaced again in my ears a few weeks ago. A married Christian man suggested, hinted at, almost said–how can I put this delicately for the work filters?–that his wife only believes in one type of relations for marrieds, hence the title. Okay, now I’m sure you’ve got my point.
I said I’d withhold my opinion. I lied. I can’t do that. I have never seen a thing in the Bible to support that view. I think that’s a Puritanical American leftover. I didn’t think there were people who still thought that way. My next to last pastor (I change cities a lot) talked about relations over the pulpit and told squeamish parents to be quiet because they’re children were already doing it anyway and that if they wanted them to stop, they should be talking about it more. He and his wife were advocates of healthy relations for marrieds, including Oval Office relations. Because of his background in health, he and his wife would pretty much conduct a clinical discussion of all types of relations and the big O during the couples’ fellowships. At least, that’s what I heard.
With all the creativity He placed in us, I just can’t believe God would endorse one position for every time for the rest of time. I can’t buy that. Nothing He did in creation was repetitive, so I just can’t believe He expects us to be. He never intended relations to be a chore. He wanted multiplication to be something folks do willingly, hence the difficulty in getting folks not to have relations who should not multiply. As a married person, that one caveat (if true) might could send me straight to hell.
Thoughts? I’m always open to correction. Please do tell me if I’m wrong.
“including Oval Office relations” —–> RAAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! WHY, A? WHY?
anyhoo, *ahem* is this thing on?? i’m about to give all kinds of opinions, knowledge and some more stuff.
GOD DID NOT - DID NOT - DID NOT!!!!!!! create sex only for procreation. and anyone who still subscribes to that mentality in their marriage undoubtedly has a jacked up marriage and a jacked up view of who God is.
Hebrews 13:4 - “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
the marriage bed is undefiled - meaning, marital relations are not abhorred by God. and the “marriage bed” is honored.
also: 1 Corinthians 7: 2-5 “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”
in other words, a wife is not to withhold her body from her husband and likewise the husband is not to withhold his body from his wife. the Bible warns that doing so can cause Satan to tempt you into sin (adultery). the only time sex should be withheld within a marriage is when both spouses agree for that particular time (as mentioned in this passage for prayer and fasting time, or perhaps due to illness or injury).
other than that, she better be giving it up on a regular and so had he!!
God created us to derive pleasure and connectedness from sex. that is why He made us to enjoy it so much!! if He only intended for us to “multiply” with it, then there’d be no need for it to be so pleasurable. THAT is one reason God is so adamantly against pre-marital sex. He created it to be a loving, bonding, unifying, immensely pleasurable, pure act between a husband and wife, not between a boyfriend and girlfriend, a dude at the club and some hot chick, or whatever. that type of connection was not intended for everyone to experience with everyone else. He knew exactly how awesome and powerful it was when He designed it.
now as for positions and such, pssssht! missionary, schmissionary! LOL. i don’t think God has regulations on these things - with the exception of ‘back door’ lovin. i do believe God has forbidden that - and our bodies weren’t even designed to be able to do that.
but for regular positions, i strongly believe these are things He leaves up to us to decide what we’re comfortable with within our own marriages, and both spouses should be in agreement.
for Oval Office relations - i honestly don’t know how God feels about that. let’s just say, i hope He is approving - LORD i hope He approves LOL! BUT i think that is something a married couple should honestly and openly go before the Lord and ask Him about and should be open to whatever the Lord speaks regarding it. and i really do believe He does speak to people about these things.
if one married couple (both spouses) is not comfortable with that, then that should be their decision. if it’s something they feel God has spoken to them concerning, and has forbidden it, that’s a whole other story.
Did you just blog in my comments?! I ain’t mad at you. Specifically, I think dude may have been miffed that his wife is opposed to or not knowledgeable of Oval Office relations. I thought of the aforementioned scriptures when writing because that undefiled bed and honorable bed business is what led my former pastor to teach “anything goes” between marrieds.
I’d love to hear from someone who believes as dude’s wife does. Anyone? I may not hear from anyone in this forum on that.
Comment by dragonflysoul — September 22, 2008 @ 1:31 p
yes, yes i did just blog in your comments. that’s what you get for posting a topic about which i have a lot to say (what DON’T i have a lot to say about??? LOL!!).
so there.
Thank you for your blog and for not being afraid to comment.
Comment by dragonflysoul — September 22, 2008 @ 1:31 p
A, you know Pro will give up the uncut funk here! You married? Then you can do it missionary, doggie style (non-anal, that is), “69″, female superior, as long as you both agree ya’ll gonna have fun doin’ it.
Gettin’ married? Read the Song of Solomon in the Old Testament. It’s the closest book in the Bible to erotic literature. Some scholars even say there are references to oral sex. It compares lovin’ to cakes and raisins. Doesn’t get any better than that!
I love Song of Solomon, and it is quite racy for those who know how to read it.
Comment by profunksticated — September 22, 2008 @ 1:31 p
And if you really wanna get freaky wid your spouse, set up a video camera hooked to a TV as your monitor. Star in your own porn flick! That way you can save it for later for your viewing enjoyment. Make sure the tape’s hidden away where no one can find it. Yeah, Pro’s got a little experience there!
LOL! Okay. I can imagine the difficulty of hiding things for those with children.
Comment by profunksticated — September 22, 2008 @ 1:31 p
Oh, and sometimes a change of scenery does a marriage good. Doin the do in the reclined front passenger seat of a Cadillac DeVille in the parking lot of a Chili’s restaurant while fogging the windows on a rainy Saturday night can be Da Bomb-Dig-It-TEE!
Daaaaaag Pro!! So that doesn’t just happen in high school, huh?
Comment by profunksticated — September 22, 2008 @ 1:31 p
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
i am done with Pro. DONE.
“…in the parking lot of a Chili’s restaurant” sounds rather specific, eh Pro? LOLOLOL.
Isn’t he just too much?!!
Comment by dragonflysoul — September 22, 2008 @ 1:31 p
Pro’s a journalist who deals in specifics and details. Makes for better reading.
And parking lots are great. Look, the cluttered bedroom doesn’t do it for old Pro. Why do you think the car was invented? LOL!
Of course cars weren’t invented for transportation. Never that. When I did the car thing in HS, we got stuck in the mud because we parked on grass a day after it had rained. Funny times. My best friend and her boyfriend had to bail us out, and my excuse for missing curfew was “car trouble.” Hee hee hee. Good times.
Comment by profunksticated — September 22, 2008 @ 1:31 p
That school of thought is what brought on the sexual revolution, IMO. Sex is not supposed to be a repressing hush hush, let’s-act-like-we-don’t-do-it-even-though-we-do type thing between marrieds. Sex is SUPPOSED to be pleasurable. It’s not taboo (again, between marrieds).
Basically, I second everything dragonflysoul wrote. Bravo!
Hey, Brownngirl! You’re right about the sexual revolution. Things just swung too far left, and now we have a bunch of emotionally scarred and dysfunctional people meandering through relationships because sex didn’t make relationships like they thought it would.
If only we could delete all the wrong teaching people have gotten in some churches about sex we might be alright.
Comment by Brownngirl — September 23, 2008 @ 1:31 p
Well… to me checks is a spiritual thing, it’s the merging of two souls, no two human being can ever be so close, than during intercourse. And it is the expression of each other’s love, and it should be shared between 2 people who care about each other. I don’t know about it being restricted to missionary and only for reproduction purposes. If it’s bout expressing your love, are the restrictions on how u can express your love? Its also about pleasure I think
Well, you’re definitely not in the missionary society. I figured no one here would be, but I’m sure perhaps there are some lurkers who are. I’d love to hear their thoughts. There won’t be any attacking you here. I just want to understand.
Comment by Shazza — September 23, 2008 @ 1:31 p
“car trouble” LOLOLOLOL
aaah, classic.
Shhhhh!! Don’t tell.
Comment by dragonflysoul — September 23, 2008 @ 1:31 p
To my way of thinking, wifey and I can do essentially whatever we want to do with one another–including entering the back door. I mean … I’m not a back door kinda guy but that’s just me.
I don’t think I really care about doors other than the fact that the back one may a bit uncomfortable and not to my liking (interpretation: not happening), but what a husband and wife do consensually should involve a wide range of mutually satisfactory activities of any sort. Honestly, there are some things that I don’t want to do without.
Don’t be a stranger.
Comment by LH — September 29, 2008 @ 1:31 p