Today my cup runneth over as I am absolutely full of just about every emotion there is. I’m listening to “Here I Am to Worship” by Michael Smith, and I am so full—not really understanding why such a perfect God could or should be so absolutely in love with me. And I know right well that he loves me. He absolutely loves me.
About 3 months ago, my father gave his life to Christ after a long career of being the opposite of a God-chaser. Shortly thereafter, he almost lost his life, but God graced him with more days.
Three days ago I should have gone into surgery, but right after I completed my pre-admission interview, my primary doc called and said he couldn’t clear me. This was AFTER he’d just told me the day before that he was faxing over the paperwork to clear me right then and that he would send the results from latest heart test when they came in. I had one good test and one bad one, so this third test was to confirm the good one. It didn’t. When he called, the doc said there was a possibility my heart might not be able to withstand anesthesia. He needed to run more tests to be sure, not wanting to jump to conclusions and all, you know, being thorough. I almost did a D. West and tried to convince him to let me proceed, but he was emphatic about his “no.” Hmmph!!
It took me about 36 hours to regain my mental footing because that news came from nowhere, and my social worker had called after the doc and said she’d found no news that could help me with my search. What a whirlwind of emotions I felt at one time. It felt like my world was moving but my feet were still. There were two phone calls I had to make that filled me with dread. I had to call my mom and my friend. Mom had a catch in her voice when I told her the news. My friend was glad that I told him. My dad tried to be his usual strong self but was concerned as well.
Yesterday morning I called my dad and reminded him that I’d asked him to go to church and ask his friend, the preacher, to say a prayer for me. (I know right well that God will answer my prayers, but my dad needs a chance to exercise his faith too.) He still isn’t too hot about going to a church. He told me he’d already taken care of it. He asked one of our cousins to pray for me, and he had Momma verify that he’d told her to call the preacher. After all, the preacher makes house calls and he can stop by and say a prayer when I come home. The part that made me laugh though is when he said, “And I tell you what, I’M going to pray for you, and when I pray for you, God is going to dispatch 100,000 angels and they gone come and take care of it, and you gone pull right through. You just gotta have faith. That’s the only reason I’m here today, cause I got faith. Everything gone be alright. Just trust Daddy and have faith.” I.was.floored. My cousin said it best: “That truly is a Resurrection Day miracle if God can do that with a reprobate mind.” I was shocked and tickled at the same time. There was nothing else to say after that. Guess I’ll just have to trust God and walk in faith! 
On another note:
I’ve discovered that still waters really do run deep. Just because someone or something appears to be one way (still) doesn’t mean that there’s not more to them than what you see. Often the “more” is actually just more to love–flaws and all.
Tomorrow: I shall have an upbeat, political, or more overtly humorous piece. I traverse to the doc for yet more testing. Que sera sera.
*Hugs to you all.*
Have I told you lately how GREAT God is? Well, then, we are overdue.
“How Great is Our God”-performed by Hillsong (London)
The splendor of a King, clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice
He wraps himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God
Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end
The Godhead Three in One
Father Spirit Son
The Lion and the Lamb
The Lion and the Lamb
Name above all names
Worthy of our praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God
HUGS hun…. this sounds so familier… just before my surgery, it turned out i was anaemic… and my brain couldn’t withstand surgery… thankfully it was iron deficiency. i wend into a serious iron diet, sort of obsession… time was running out as the lump was growing, but my haemoglobin was very low…i later realised it was all a fright… just to shake me, and restore my faith… now i am fine
that said, u will be OK…dad gonna pray for the 100 000 angels:)
u will be in my thoughts… and my lesson in the past few years has been that, just when i think i cannot go beyond a certain point God’s angels come through for me… he trully never give me more than i can handle NEVER… he knows my strength and weakness.
Comment by Shazza — March 25, 2008 @ 1:31 p
“My cousin said it best: ‘That truly is a Resurrection Day miracle if God can do that with a reprobate mind.’”
THAT made me literally LOL.
and amen, as well.
you are in my prayers also. i thank God that He made it so the docs were thorough in their testing and that He made it in plain view that your heart might have trouble handling the anesthesia. that is awesome. and i love “How Great is Our God”! no matter how many times i hear/sing it, i jam extra hard each and every time. it will go down in my history as one of the most uplifting praise songs ever.
Comment by dragonflysoul — March 25, 2008 @ 1:31 p
how goeth thine testing this day?
:-)
Comment by dragonflysoul — March 26, 2008 @ 1:31 p