How can someone not know he’s impotent? My girl was telling me that she didn’t think Mr. Imp knew he had a problem. My thought was, then how did you tell me that he told you about it? 2+2= she must have firsthand knowledge. She’s known to stretch the truth. When asked directly, she changed the subject and said they’d never dated.
Given the chance to really speak with him, I, too, figured out that he has no idea that he has a problem. From what I’ve been told, his “small problem” is something he seems to think is normal. The problem is that he cannot maintain proper function of his woopsy, but he still thinks he’s a mack. I saw him yesterday and he wanted to know when I would spend the night at my girl’s house where he’s staying. I’ve told yall before I don’t get down with what he was thinking, but I really wanted to ask him about spending the night for what?!! Guess what. He.wanted.to.cuddle. So maybe he does know he has a problem because he wanted to assure me that it would go no further than that. And how many men do you know who JUST want to cuddle? Unfortunately for him, I had to decline his offer since I’m not in the market for a bed buddy. Interesting guy. Nice though.
Maybe I’m not as patient and understanding as I thought. Though I could be patient with his condition were he someone I’d seriously consider dating, I prefer a drama-free life. And dealing with someone with a disorder that he’s in denial about is a bit too bizarre given the nature of the problem. He’s in the permanent associate category.
N.E.X.T.
Boy is it dusty around here. Well, since I’m here, I might as well sit for a while and tell you what’s been on my mind. Excuse the ramble.
Change-the one thing we despise is the one thing that’s always guaranteed. Why not embrace it? Why does it scare us so much? I’ve only recently learned to embrace the personal, physical, spiritual, and emotional changes that time has brought. Sometimes it’s just hard to embrace the same in others or in situations. Change. An unpredictable yet unavoidable thing.
Impotence-I’ve recently encountered a beautiful person, a friend of a friend, who has this particular problem. I was initially perturbed because said guy couldn’t keep his hands to himself, but our mutual friend assured me that he was harmless after sharing his secret with me. Then, instead of being annoyed, I felt sorry for him–almost empathetic. When we talked (he hasn’t divulged his secret himself), he shared that it had been a long time since he had been in a personal setting with a member of the opposite sex and it was just a bit much. Knowing what I knew, I could only imagine his frustration that leaves him pretty much alone all the time. And he’s young too. He says he used to be very outgoing, a motivational speaker, but now he’s a homebody who rarely goes out socially. He’s actually very attractive and extremely sweet, but for obvious reasons, not so developed in his relationship skills with ladies. Without telling that I knew, I just encouraged him to get out more and know that God has someone(s) for everyone, perfectly designed. I even told him that there are some women who hate sex and see it as a duty that must be performed within marriage or for the exchange of whatever goods they may want. Had he actually told me of his problem himself, we would have had a far more candid conversation. There is hope and help for his situation.
Then I wondered, how many women would actually date someone with his problem or consider marrying him? I’d like to think that I could potentially deal with it (not with him though) if the person’s Godly character and all was in tact. The problem is treatable, but the low self-esteem and low confidence that appear to accompany it may not be. Why is so much of the male ego wrapped up in performance? Would you date or marry a man with this problem if you found out after you discovered how wonderful a person he is? Since I’m celibate, I like to say it wouldn’t be a problem during dating and it could be treated if and when marriage ever became a serious consideration. Of all the crap that women put up with to keep a guy–abuse, cheating, etc.–this issue pales in comparison. Don’t know though. That’s merely hypothetical. What about you?
State of My Union
Problem: I repeatedly choose men who are emotionally unavailable.
I think I subconsciously do this because it’s safe for me, and it gives me a way out to avoid becoming too serious about anything. The thing is that I want to be serious. I really do want to commit to the right person, but I haven’t met anyone in the past few years to whom I’d seriously commit. I’ve met some wonderful people, a few of whom I even love dearly. But loving someone and being “in love” with them are two different things. So, while God continues to process me, I wait. I’m choosing not to choose for now but just to wait on God’s perfect timing. Even though I think I know who the Mr. is, I still choose to wait because timing is absolutely everything.
