Days of My Life

Everyone must have standards, right? But what do you base yours on? I tend to work out things as I go, and along the way, situations set benchmarks to help me forever measure what I will and will not accept. Today, I’m just pensively exploring some of my standards. I’ll list them by their benchmarks.

My Best Friend: She has set the standard for all of my friends. They don’t have to be like her, but how I interact with her determines how I interact with others in terms of my expectations. We bring out the best in one another, and are capable of bringing out the worst but instead choose to use our superpowers for good. Also, we know how to argue, disagree, whatever, and still keep it moving. We forgive easily and don’t hold on to a grudge. We know when to back off, and when we don’t know, we know how to apologize for going too far. We’re always concerned for each other’s well-being, blah, blah, blah. This is getting too long and mushy. Let’s go on.

Male Friends: Oh my gosh, this one male friend of mine set the bar so high it’s ridiculous, but I’m not backing down since I know that his kind exists. Even though he’s a male friend, he has set the standard for what I’d want in a significant other. We have a friendship where we were once interested in each other, but the time and circumstances weren’t right. We reconnected years later and are good friends. We are both strong in our faith and share a similar understanding of our uniqueness. There are no pretenses, and because the same God rests in both of us, we are just REAL with one another and communication is so easy. He has been my advisor and support system during this last stint with school, and we always return each other’s calls just because. He is kind, considerate, honest, stable in mind and demeanor, level-headed, sensitive, vulnerable, and he ain’t no punk! Not to mention that he is break your neck beautiful inside and out. He’s funny with no cynicism or sarcasm and just plain joyful to be around. Even in the worst situation, he can find a way to laugh. I am completely relaxed in his presence, and the sound of his voice soothes me. Unbelievable. We have no physical relationship at all. And we will maintain our relationship despite significant others. I plan to be at his wedding, and he better be at mine. Same for graduation.

Puppy Dog: Ok, my lazy lap dog wanna be guard dog is my ideal pet and no other can top her. My next dog will have to find a way to channel her spirit. We have been together for years and she has as much of my temperament as I have of hers. She’s tolerant of my dressing and fluffing her, and I’m tolerant of her making me wait fifty years for her to take a crap. She knows that I’m a nosey neighbor by nature, and she sufficiently notifies me of every passerby. Great dog!!! When I’m sick, she stays near my bedside, and even though it hurts her, she jumps onto the bed to guard me at all costs. My friends have to coddle her and appease her before she will let them administer any medicine or help. They have to literally make promises to her not to harm me before she slinks away a few inches while giving them the evil eye. She’s worse than a mother hen. And if she doesn’t like a guy, I know he’s outta here because she is an excellent judge of character. Don’t sleep on animal instinct.

Pastors: Check out www.summerfieldministries.org. Awesome people. Awesome leaders. And R-E-A-L!!! They weren’t afraid to discuss anything from the pulpit–sex, marriage, lying, dying, whatever–and in detail. They shoot straight and tell people what they need to hear as opposed to what they want to hear. They were the first I’ve ever known to just straight sit folks down and teach them how to do a budget so as not to be broke at the end of the month. The practical things that people don’t know they weren’t afraid to teach despite criticism. They teach straight from the book (Bible) without additives and have a thorough understanding of what they’re discussing. They don’t mind admitting their own faults and flaws as well. And they have really big hearts too. Just exceptional people. Glad to have known them so well.

That’s enough for now. My attention is shifting elsewhere. I have a puppy dog to pet.

Ciao!

My sis and I took a road trip this past weekend down my favorite patch of asphalt–95 South. And thanks to her ipod, we also took a walk down memory lane. As I am notorious for being a straight face killa on some song lyrics, we had some interesting discussions about the intended meaning of some of the songs. These are some of our random thoughts about a few titles. Have fun!

1. Understanding by Xscape–This is the one song that I actually knew ALL the lyrics to. I sat down one day and memorized them with the song on repeat. But tell me, what did ol’ girl need understanding about? I thought it was clear that dude wasn’t listening good and she needed him to clean his ears and comprehend–though I have to admit I don’t know about what. Sissy said the song just didn’t make any sense. Whatever. Still one of the best songs to come from Georgia clay—back before Lil’ John an nem disgraced the dirty to make us look like a bunch of ignorant country bastids.

2. Is My Living In Vain? by Xscape again originallyl by the Clark Sisters–Anybody ever feel that way? And what do you do when you do? I like the answer in the song. NOOO!!! OF COURSE NOT!!! IT’S NOT ALL IN VAAAIIIIINNN!! Cause up the road….(don’t know about this part too much) is eternal gain. I actually prefer a little gain in the here and now, but that’s just me. The sweet by and by ain’t all that attractive when I see a little heaven right here on earth. I’m just sayin’, I like the idea of NOOO!!! my living is not in vain. In fact, that takes me to a favorite gospel song. “If I can help somebody as I travel along, if I can heal somebody just with a word or song, if I can show somebody that he’s traveling wrong, then my living shall not be in vain.” Watch for faulty lyrics but you get the idea.

3. Everything by SWV– Why were all of their songs always about somebody else’s man? Couldn’t get a man of their own? AND I have to admit that it took me a few years to figure out where downtown was in my tender youth. LOL Thank God for innocence that I kept longer than most folks keep wedding vows.

4. For You I Will by Monica– I love this song from the Bugs Bunny movie!! Except I’m not too sure about all the lyrics. I’m just not too big on dying for anyone or anything. I’m choosing life, yo (a la Lauryn). And I don’t mind crossing the ocean, as long as it’s in a cruise ship because I certainly can’t swim. I would gladly give my man the moon as long as it comes with a Coach bag big enough to fit itself in. And I’m all into being heroic and strong. If you ever see me, I have a huge “S” burned in my chest. Leap tall buildings in a single bound and all. love.the.song.

5. As We Lay by Shirley Murdoch- Mmmm, mmm, mm. A friend and I recently both had to halt our dispersion from the car, in the freezing cold, to sit and listen to this song as we both went down separate memory lanes. My, my, my. We’ve come a long way baby. That song let’s me know I’ve sho’ly been bawn agin.

6. Sittin in My Room by Brandy–I didn’t get it then and I don’t get it now. Never been too much about sittin up in my room pining away for no boy. Next.

7. Spend My Life With You by E.B. and Tamia–I like it. I like it. I like it. I’m a big E.B. fan (everyone has issues). If I could just see you every morning when I open my eyes….doesn’t get much better than that. A song about marriage and not just SEX!!! How innovative?! What a novel idea!

8. Stranger in My House–Ok. Why did I not get that the stranger was her because she had changed? I guess I just get so into the checklist that she takes him down, you know–first kiss, where her spot is–I lost track of all the stranger stuff. Anyway. I enjoyed it for years without really caring about the specifics of the lyrics. Why start now? I’m a lyrics butcher when I just like the sound.

9. Water by Ms. Hill on the Unplugged- Don’t know what the h*** she’s talkin about for most of the two cd’s, but I love it. She does it, I love it. Just the voice man. And I love this song. Don’t know why, but I do.

10. Janet songs–For some reason, I made Sissy skip all the JJ songs in the pod. Just wasn’t feelin’ her even though I used to enjoy such hits as “Anytime, Anyplace.” That whole cd was on repeat for a solid year, and it got me through Calculus II fo sho–right along with dude from the Shirley M. flashback.

11. Saved the Best for Last by Miss America (V.W.) (She’ll always be my Miss America)- Always loved the song but never paid attn to the lyrics until the other day. I got all caught up on the sun going around the moon and the snow coming down in June, but it really is a beautiful song. “Just when I thought our chance had passed, you go and save the best for last……yeah, yeah.”

This was all really random and a little fun. Maybe I’ll go down her fellas list another time. I guess I will so I can tell you about Sisqo and “Incomplete.”

Power to the pod (or the little gadget as I call it).

Hope you followed the chaotic thoughts.

NLC

Of 101 degrees. That’s what I have thanks to a few snotty nosed kids and their parents who would not keep them home. If you parent a child out there anywhere, I know you look for breaks wherever you can get them. But please, for the love of all that’s sane, keep your children home when they’re not well. Of course, that is the last thing you want to do since you don’t want to have to hear them whine anyway, but think of the other children they’ll encounter and the ones who must care for them. And guess what?! If your children have fevers, THEY’RE SICK!!! Just in case you didn’t know.

Just think, if some other responsible parent had kept his/her child at home, yours wouldn’t be sick in the first place. And I know you know how sick children always want to hug and lay on everybody. So what’s a teacher to do? If they’re elementary aged, you can’t very well run and say, “Don’t touch me.” I have done this with older children. It tends to cause a stream of tears with the younger ones. While I don’t have any children of my own, I suspect that yours are YOUR primary responsibility. So give me a break. Keep them at home when they’re sneezy, fevery, runny nosed, can’t sleep, and whiney.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!! All I want as an educator is a little respect. Free me from the fever of your child’s love.

I bet you thought The Nutty Professor’s Klumps wudn’t for real. Jokes on you, buddy. I know them personally, and they are HIH-LAY-REE-US!!!! Sherman and all.

I went to school with this guy named T. His cousins and I were good friends, so I knew him by close association. I spent A LOT of time with their family. Well, anyway, he may have had a slight learning disability or something as I recall, and he walked with a one leg shorter than the other limp. He also had really thick glasses. Not the kind of stuff most girls would go for, so he didn’t have a lot (well, any) girlfriends. He did like girls though and was always crushing on someone. And so his fortune with girls changed around college. He got his B.S., his M.A., and became all the more attractive, particularly on paper as a decent job came along with the degrees. Oh yeah, and he pledged a hot frat (always in nalia). And I never said he was ugly at all. He was working with a good gene pool, but the slight physical differences from your average guy kind of left him outside of the “hot guy” category.

Anyway, along with college comes the internet. You see where I’m going? Well, by the time he nears the end of school, the internet craze is in full swing, and he’s one of the first to try out this whole get to know you via net thing. A little ahead of his time, but just the boost he needed. He begins to meet his girlfriends over the net. He charms them until they’re in love and they eventually meet. By then, looks don’t matter (you know how women are, all emotional and stuff), and his game is on. Call him the internet mickety-mickety mack daddy.

Fast forward to Christams ‘05 at the family dinner table. Everyone is gathered and the family is exchanging cracks on each other as is their custom. T is not there. He spent Christmas with his girlfriend out of town. Not a move too many of the other guys in the family could’ve gotten away with, but he is the apple of Grandma’s eye as her “special” child. Everyone’s just “happy he’s happy.” Well, Grandma decides they need to give T a call and wish him a Merry Christmas. You know how we do down South, you gotta pass the phone to everyone who’s around and make up something to say whether you want to or not. Not so difficult this time. Grandma has T’s Uncle G make the call, and it goes a little something like this:

*Ring!!!!*

T: Hu, hu, hu, hu, hu, hu, hu, hu, hullo?
Uncle G: *A little anxiety in his voice* T? What you doin?
T: *Panting* I can’t talk right now Uncle G.
Uncle G: What? What you talkin bout? What’s goin on?
T: *More panting* She got me tied up!
Uncle G: What you mean she got you tied up?
Ripples of laughter start to pass around the table as side conversations cease. Uncle G done fell out laughing.
Grandma grabs the phone.
Grandma: T, what’s the matter? What’s going on?
(Female voice in the background): T, you better get off that phone and put back on those handcuffs!!!
Grandma: *Fanning and arms all up in the air* LAWD, SHE GOT MY CHILE ALL TIED UP!!!!
T: *Click*

Can you imagine the laughter? Now, why did he even answer the phone?

Okay, so this is a day or so late and couple dollars short. But the lonely do the same things they do the other 364 days a year. They keep living. And to the other singles such as myself, I hope you didn’t spend your day reflecting on how lonely you are. Instead, I hope you found joy in the fact that being alone doesn’t necessarily make you lonely. Nor does it make you desperate.

I had a fantabulous Valentine’s Day weekend. I had the pleasure of good company, good food, and great fun. Of course, the usual friends that I can count on did not fail to perform their yearly rituals of V Day duties. I have one friend who knows that come rain, shine, hail, sleet, snow, or significant other, he’d better find his way to a phone, computer, or cell to send a text just so I know he didn’t forget. And we alternate years as to who does so first. Last year it was me, and this year it was him. Friends like that are hard to find, even though he was in town and I didn’t get to see him. Darn that SO of his! LOL!! Who told him he could get a life or a potential wife?

In case you haven’t caught on, V Day is one of my favorite celebratory times. But it hasn’t always been. I am a woman who loves love. I love life. I love God because He is love and also the reason why I can love so freely. I’ve come to learn that you can’t give what you’ve never received, and on the receiving end of God’s love is where I’ve learned to become a whole bundle of it. Many people refer to themselves as Christians simply because they were raised in the church or because they believe in the deity of Jesus Christ, his death, burial, resurrection, and his promise to return. They call themselves such because they have been forgiven of their sins. Well, all of those facts may be true, but Christianity is not a religion (hold your tomatoes!!)—it is a way of life. It is about walking instead of talking, perfection not a prerequisite.

I remember when my mom first told me about Christianity being a way of life. I didn’t quite understand, but now I do. Jesus gave one commandment that really fulfilled the first ten–to love one another as He has loved us. If we love Him, then we keep his commandments. I have to admit that sometimes I fall short on that, but He even makes provisions for that. My relationship with Him could best be described as intimate since He is my very best friend. And what other God can you get to know on a personal level? I didn’t intend to get off on an evangelisitc spiel, but I’m really feeling His love right now and thought I would share it with you. He’s my reason for being and loving the day of love. It gives me a reason, an excuse (not that I need one), to celebrate the ones I’ve come to love through Him. And I appreciate all 3 types of love that He’s given me to share. Let’s turn on that street for a little bit.

Folks get all bent out of shape with different expectations of what accompanies the words, “I love you.” I bet it would help if they could identify which one was being discussed or if they even knew there was more than one. Agape. Filial. Eros. God’s love. Family and friendship love. Romantic husband-wife love. Sometimes I wish I could just say, “I agape you,” and make it plain so folks would understand. There’s just so much love to give.

I guess what started this rant is a conversation with my sister about a mutual acquaintance. I’m all the time freaking folks out and comforting others by telling them that I love them. With this particular incident, she hit the nail on the head when she pointed out that between the acquaintance and another person there was a failure to communicate. She said that A didn’t intimately know the God of B so there was no way A could understand the capacity of B to love so much. Made sense to me. After all, even though you may reap what you sow, you certainly can’t sow what you don’t have. After some thought about our conversation, I had to write about what inspires me to love–better yet, who.

And while on the subject of fathers heavenly, let me detour on down to earth and talk about my very first earthly love, my boyfriend, my first date, the first man to ever see my bare bottom (doctor excluded)–my Daddy. I love that man. And I know he loves me. He rarely says it, but he always shows it. And isn’t that the most important thing? Don’t you want to know that the people who “love” you understand it’s an action word? I can probably put the number of times I’ve heard him say it on one hand, but it means so much more to me to “know” it because of the way that he cares for me, protects me, STILL tucks me in at night by peaking his head in the door to say good night, provides for me (there are some bills I have NEVER paid and I’m for real, for real grown), encourages me, supports me emotionally, gives me advice, listens to me, reasons with me, and still let me sit on his lap and fall asleep long after I was “too old” to do so. A Daddy is God’s way of saying “I love you” in a special way to his little girls. A Daddy is God’s way of giving his love to Mommy. Shucks, a Daddy is what Valentine’s should always be about for us little girls who are blessed to have them.*

*This Daddy rant in no way is intended to diminish the role of my momma or any other mommas. Mommas are God’s gift to the WORLD!!! Just sometimes you gotta give Daddy his due, particularly when he’s the first teacher a girl will ever have on how to have a healthy male-female relationship. There ought to be more songs for Daddy like there are for Momma. Sorry this disclaimer became an extension of the rant.

As always, these are just my humble thoughts.
NativeLoveChild