Let’s just call this the week of Miles, shall we? Today’s post is to the tune of Miles D.’s “Yesterdays.” So imagine it as though I have a soundtrack. (Wish I knew how to make that happen.)
I know I still owe you the holiday posts, but life just keeps on happening and it moves so fast. Reminds me of Desiree’s “Gotta Be.” “The world keeps on spinning, can’t stop it if you try to, the best part is danger staring you in the face…” And so life goes on, but I’ll get back to them on a slow day. They will still be relevant whenever they come.
But for today, I admonish you to stop and reflect on your today that will soon become your yesterday and be mindful of what you speak into your tomorrow. You’ve heard it before. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn’t promised, so live your life for today. And I would add to do it now more than ever with all that is going on in the world around us.
Let’s move on to the reason for today’s post. D.O.A. And it is as morbid as it sounds—dead on arrival. That’s what her words were. An associate of mine by two degrees has my prayers and sympathy today as she and her one-year-old prepare to bury her husband. Although this is still life, I pray that’s a road none of you nor I ever have to take.
For the sake of anonymity, let’s just say the day was a Monday. Well, on that day she received one of those forwards designed to help you get to know someone better. You know the ones with questions that you have to answer and forward to the people on your list. One of the questions was whether or not she would give her life for her mate. Her answer was “No, I wouldn’t give my life for him,” but she tried to clean it up by saying it would depend on the situation. Little did she know that the answer required of her was for real. And by Wednesday morning her husband was dead. In their home. He neglected to take some seizure medication and hit his head and died. D.O.A. Was there really a choice given to her between her husband’s life and hers? I don’t know. I doubt we’ll ever know, but what we do know is enough for us to learn from.
Now I wasn’t there, so I can’t say all the details. All I can say is that I know her heart must hurt, and oh how I’m sure she does wish that she could resend her response that she sent to all of her friends regarding the questions. What a follow-up message they received. Obviously, she’s not responsible for her husband’s death. As far as I know, she didn’t stop him from taking his pills. I just grieve for the unnecessary amount of guilt that her careless words must have caused. Then I think of my own careless words that are sometimes uttered too freely. Because the reality is that we can’t change our yesterdays, even when we sincerely wish we could. And there are times, even recently, when I wish I could, but that’s not a luxury afforded us. The luxury we have is the free will to make the best possible choices with our today.
So, why doesn’t that make us more mindful of how we live our today? It should. It really should. She may not have been able to alter the eventuality of her husband’s death, but at least her own words would not have to haunt her. She wouldn’t have to wonder what she could have done or if God is somehow punishing her. (For the record, we can be pretty sure that He’s not since He’s the giver of every good and perfect gift. And it’s funny how He always gets the blame when it’s very seldom that He moves but we always do—move away from Him that is. And such is the matter of life. ) But if we can accept that He created the whole world with just three words, “Let there be…,” then maybe we can conceive that words do have creative power. And, well, maybe we can choose ours a tad bit more carefully.
In the meantime, keep her in your prayers as she goes through the process that will take her from Miles’ “Yesterdays” to Iyanla’s Yesterday, I Cried and Mary Mary belting out “I’ve cried my last tears yesterday.” What a long one it may be.
Keep the faith and stay strong.
Just my thoughts.
NLC