Yeah, yeah, we all know I have work to do, but check this out.
*Disclaimer: The following post is not about an actual person. Should it resemble actual events that are taking place in your life or the life of someone you know, even if you and NLC have spoken about the following subject, this is all fiction. Any resemblance to a real person or event is entirely coincidental.*
Now, hypothetically, Jack and Jill are engaged. In the early days of their relationship, Jill let it be known that she was celibate and strictly into monogamy if their relationship ever became sexual. Jill also let it be known that were they to get engaged, she would consider it as good as the marriage contract. Therefore, if the engagement ended without wedding bells, she was keeping the ring. So, skip to a year later. The happy couple are sexually involved and happily engaged. They are IN LOVE with all the sweet, syrupy trimmings that a new love can bring. Jill done dropped the draws and declared Jack–THE ONE.
Jack dropped approximately 10 G’s, give or take a couple thousand, on Jill’s ring. That was the budget he set for a ring, and it had nothing to do with whether he could afford more or less. The man just believes in a budget and he shopped around well. He found the most exquisite and unique ring possible within his price range with about an H/I clarity. Emerald cut, baguettes, platinum, the whole nine. It was a nice ring.
Here’s where it gets dicey. Jack is happy in his relationship, but he gets a little greedy about a month or so before the nuptials. He decides to revisit an old friend for “old time’s sake.” You know, just one last hoorah with no strings attached. And he’s convinced that Jill will never find out because what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Well, Old Girlfriend lost the “confidential” part of the booty call confidentiality agreement, and word got back to Jill. In short, Jill reminded Jack of her up front policy and cut him loose even though Jack was apologetic. Jack was d.e.v.a.s.t.a.t.e.d. He knew his Jill was the real thing and regretted ever being cocky enough to step out for his pre-wedding fling. He was apologetic and sorry until he could take no more of Jill’s rejection, and then he got mad when he thought about his investment in the ring. He began to think of ways to get his money back and asked Jill for the ring. Now, that elicited a response. A resounding “H”-”E”- double hockey sticks NO!!!” All up in arms, Jack threatened legal action, and things began to get ugly from there.
Now, is Jack wrong for asking, or is Jill for not giving it back since she was willing to let the relationship go? And should Jill be willing to forgive Jack this one indiscretion and just let it go? How could things have been handled differently? And how serious is the ring really in the whole engagement deal? What do you think?
I have never been engaged, so I’m just throwing it out there. Hypothetically, of course.
NativeLovechild
I think that giving the ring back is the “right” thing to do since she broke off the engagement. However, if I were Jill I would want to sell the ring and keep the money because he is the one who broke the contract by running all up and through ole girl. I’d hold onto it until we went to court — just in case the judge (likely a man) rules in his favor.
I actually saw a similar scenario on Judge Joe Brown or Maybeline or something like that and the judge let the woman keep the ring. In truth, it was ugly in the courtroom. What is the big deal with the ring? Why does the word sound like fighting words to some? Go figure.
Comment by kiesha — January 13, 2006 @ 1:31 p
I say she is entitled to the ring. They had a contract and he breached. Now, that is my educated side talking. My ghetto side say, “Hell yeah keep the ring! And leave him with something to remember me by, i.e. slashed tires, telling his mommma and close friends the truth cause you know he ain’t tellin’ it the way it REALLY went down!” And when did intimacy become so devalued? I don’t get that but that is my comment for another blog. Pardon me please.
LMAO!!!! Yep, you sure are from the Chatham Coun-tay!!
Comment by Chatham County Chick — January 14, 2006 @ 1:31 p
I’m with everybody. I think infidelity is an obvious breach of contract..(as opposed to being mean, or forgetting a birthday, or something less clear) He should have thought about his investment before he took a crap all over it. She has to live with knowing that her perfect little future that was all mapped out, is now NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. The ring should bring some much needed solace!
I’m taking a break today to meet a deadline, but I think this will lead to tomorrow’s topic. We’ve got to discuss the value, or lack thereof, of intimacy.
Comment by juli — January 17, 2006 @ 1:31 p
i’m all late but hey…i’m adding my 5 cents anyway!
bottom line: an engagement ring is a gift. period. and gifts are not loans - once they change hands, gifts belong to the recipient in the eyes of the law. now, if a person decides to give back their gift, that’s their right and prerogative; BUT it is not a requirement, nor is it wrong to keep the engagement ring.
i’ve never been engaged either, so i don’t really know if i would give the ring back. though i will say that it is not my policy to keep “reminders” of ended relationships. so the ring would be meaningless to me after we broke it off. i’d either give it back or sell it. wearing it and therefore being constantly reminded of a cheater isn’t an option.
Comment by dragonflysoul — February 27, 2008 @ 1:31 p