It’s almost time to turn the page on yet another year. I just love this time of year. Don’t you? I get to sit back and reflect on the wins and losses of life and hopefully add up more wins than losses. This year I’m fortunate. The wins win.
Since this is the end of ‘05, I’ll take a page from the book of Will and count my blessings in fives.
Five years ago: I was playing real life Monopoly, piercing my belly button, dying my hair shades of blond and brown, teaching high school and college, and messing with two “fly guy” brothers better known as Frick and Frack. Let’s just say I was in the middle of an early life crisis, and I did not truly love myself.
Five months ago: I re-entered the work force part-time after a two year hiatus during full time graduate study. I was busting my tail to maintain residences in two different states without full-time income. I was preparing to help my cousin launch his company’s first line of products at TD Jakes’ MegaFest. I began feeling something missing inside and prepared to re-evaluate my purpose in life and prepare for a world of unlimited and wonderful possibilities that I knew had to be just around the bend.
Five weeks ago: I was swamped with school work and grading papers. I was planning my first Thanksgiving away from home, and I am thankful that I had wonderful friends to spend it with.
Five days ago: My friend figured out how to download the pictures from my cousin’s digital camera and I successfully forwarded them to another friend. I was also smiling as I read another blogger’s post about “Nights Like This,” glad to be able to read the work of such a gifted writer. I was also scurrying around trying to gather my things for an early a.m. flight the next morning (which I sooo missed).
Five minutes ago: I breathed a sigh of relief as I emailed my final paper for the semester, bringing me to the end of my next to last semester of graduate school. Thank God!!
Five years ago, I couldn’t have imagined my life without a self-deceptive no strings attached friendship with benefits. I had a post-break-up relationship-phobia. I also couldn’t have imagined that my inner beauty would exceed my carefully coiffed and orchestrated outer beauty of my mid-twenties to shock even myself at the potential we hold within ourselves when we are open to love. Not just the unselfish love of others but the love of self.
Five months ago, I couldn’t have imagined that God would allow me to maintain both residences and not break a sweat because I learned to trust in Him. I would’ve never guessed that my cousin’s business would have enjoyed the success that it has in such a relatively short amount of time. I couldn’t have imagined that I would reach out to someone with whom I could share the most intimate details of what had become a lifelong secret that few others could understand.
Five weeks ago, I couldn’t have imagined that my Christmas and New Year’s would be filled with more family members and love than I know what to do with, or in some instances even care for.
Five days ago, I couldn’t have imagined that I would be seeing my dad in the winter of his years and still looking at him through my childhood eyes as my all powerful Superman. I wouldn’t have imagined that my always confident mother would ever admit an insecurity about the beauty of her own physical features which are nothing but regal to me.
Five minutes ago, I did not know that I would write so much or feel so deeply the enormity of the gratefulness and love that I am feeling right now. I could not have imagined that I’d just be grateful for you being here, now, able to read this post.
Be blessed.
NLC
Just wanted to know that I am completely stealing this idea from both you and Will.
Comment by The After Party — December 28, 2005 @ 1:31 p