Days of My Life

Say what you mean, and mean what you say!!

I’m on my procrastination hustle today, but I’ve got to get the lead out if I don’t want to be holding a tin cup on the side of the road.

Cheers to me!!

So today my schedule was unexpectedly freed. I’d just been wishing for some “me” time when I got the word.

I’ve been on a 24 hour wave of optimism, and I want the time to write my dreams. They are ever becoming more vivid and even more strange, but they are mine and I can feel them. God is blessing so many people close to me that I can feel his blessings near me.

When I close my eyes, I do see what I believe. I see myself somewhere else doing something else with someone else. Today, I want to write what I see. Take the time to make a record. Give it a chance to manifest as prayers I prayed almost twenty years ago appear ready to break forth.

Even though I’m not privy to what’s behind the scenes, God’s plans often amaze me. I want to exhale what God inhaled into me. I’m ready to watch it manifest. Will you join me?

Dream with me, and join me when I awake.

Both of these songs are just for me today. I’m moving closer to my dreams, becoming what God designed me to be. I’ve had enough pain; I’m ready to PUSH.

I don’t want to play games with you, God. You know, like if I do this, will you do this? That’s child’s play. I want a mature, adult relationship with you where we’re talking up close and personal on the real every day.

I want to see clearly and hear clearly my direction for every day. Let’s be direct with one another, shall we? And since you’re always direct, I guess I should begin with me.

I love you. I appreciate you. I worship you, and I need you. I need you more than life or breath or any other thing. More than that, I want you. I’ve got to have you. I desire you in my life in a very tangible way. I acknowledge that my actions and my choices are my own and that they often go contrary to your way, which is filled with so much wisdom and grace. Please forgive me for the abuse of my free will. Forgive me for the detours I’ve taken, but most of all, forgive me for every second spent not acknowledging you.

I need and want you in my life, and with you, please bring more peace, more love, more understanding. I’d ask for more patience, but you’re such a hands-on teacher, I’ll pass with what I have.

Where my faith in love is tested, help me to expand and pass the test. Above all else, while I cannot trust myself, help me to trust you. Lead me into all peace.

While I know that this prayer is supposed to be a prayer for me, I cannot stop until I ask you to bless my friends. Give them more of your fruit, and wherever necessary, give them more of you. Open up the eyes of their understanding. Remove all blinders and scales. Let your love be made manifest in their lives and your presence always acknowledged. Bless the fruit of their hands and the toil of their labor. Protect and keep their children and let them be taught of you. And Dear God, when their ways get too weary to reach out to you, I pray that you would extend grace and mercy and reach out to them.

Father, for my special friend, I pray for Romans 12:1. Let there be a renewing of the mind. Let the mind be in him which was also in Christ Jesus, who thought it not robbery to sacrifice his life in the name of love. Let him learn true love and the meaning of no greater love. What a life it is that does not know, understand, or comprehend the depths of your love for us. Please help all of my friends to understand.

Now, Father, since this prayer is original and direct from me to you, I want to hold it between us and deny others the right to share it, but I am not my own. Please use it as an instrument of your peace to do as you will and bless as you see fit.

I thank you for every blessing and pray this prayer unto Him who is able to do absolutely everything but fail, to the only wise God, my Savior, who shall do exceeding abundantly above all that I ask or think, even in this hour.

With all my love, in Jesus’ most precious name,

Me

is still a work in progress. How to get from my here to my there sometimes consumes me, but I’m steadily working on it.

I strive to be honest, kind, loving, and when it’s needed most, silent.

I am still working on becoming who I want to be…more like Him is what I crave.

Despite the obvious historical idiosyncracy, I’m wishing everyone a Happy 4th of July!!

My day began with an early sunrise service at my favorite beach. I had three hours of sunbathing and water playing. I love me and I’m thankful that I was born an only child. That makes me far more fearless and unafraid of doing things by myself. I had a blast with my three favorite girls: me, myself, and I.

I stayed until the sun began to burn my bottom half. I slathered sunscreen on all but my legs while laying out, so guess what slightly burned? You guessed it. Someone my complexion laying out is such an anomaly that I automatically draw attention. LOL! That tickled me. Hmm…either the sunbathing or my anatomy did it, but it was funny to me. Hot tamale I am. Hee..hee..hee. HA!!!

That humors me because someone once told me I wasn’t “sexy” and I began to internalize it; wouldn’t he be dumbfounded to know that the unsexy me stopped conversations just by bopping down the beach in my happy place, not scantily clothed? Go me!! LOL!! It really just tickles me because for every negative thing I’ve been told about myself, a situation immediately arises to refute it. That lets me know that God is still working on my behalf, and I love Him for it. He has not abandoned me; He still loves me; He wants what’s best for me.

I’m all showered and resting up for Part II of my day. This is the last day of a much needed vacay. *SIGH* Tomorrow I go back to my space. I just pray that the effect of my vacay is a changed me because I will return to circumstances that very likely have not changed. When that happens, all you can do is change you and count on the inevitable.

The inevitable? Glad you asked. The inevitable is the realization that no situation is over until God says it is, and in the end, you will always win when He is for you. If you haven’t won, you’d better trust and believe that the situation is not done. God vindicates us.

In the meantime, God gives us His joy. Happiness comes and goes, but His joy we can have with us–always.

I will not fear what will face me when I go back home. I will embrace the unknown with hope in place of despair, faith in place of fear, and more love in place of hurt. I am surely in awe of the God in me. He amazes me because in truth my flesh does want to cut up, but GOD. You have no idea how much restraint the Holy Spirit has birthed in me. No.idea. If not for God…..whoo!!! Talk about a hurricane. Mmm…mm..mph.

Well, enough of me. How are you–wherever, whenever and whomever you are?